Manifest Who You Want To Become

Manifesting is a real thing. But let’s clarify: it’s not about sitting in your mother’s basement, repeating mantras, and thinking your way to a million dollars or a six-pack. That notion is often just snake oil — a money-making scheme that has fed on false hope for generations.

But we can manifest personality change.

The Power of Change

Our personalities change whether we like it or not. We might not notice it but it happens. Psychological research says that the greatest change in our personality occurs between the ages of 18–28.

This is why everyone’s 20s are so angst-ridden. We feel like we are supposed to have our life plan figured out, but we are just getting a chance to be ourselves without Mom and Dad dictating our every move. We are expected to make the choices that decide our entire future during the time we are experiencing the greatest internal turmoil.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Take Control

You can take some control of the change process. I didn’t realize it until I recently became acquainted with the neuroscience behind manifestation, but I had been manifesting since the age of 19. We can manifest personality change to act more wisely in the world. Neuroscience has confirmed how much our thoughts can serve to enhance or negatively impact our physiological state. We can choose how we change, but it takes work.

Through visualizing who we want to become, consistent meditation on responding to the world, and journaling the changes we want to see we can channel our mind in a particular direction. This consistent effort can make it easier for us to act in ways that add to the quality of our lives and the lives we touch.

My Process:

1. Visualize Who You Will Become: Know where you are going. I knew at the age of 19 that I wanted to be the kind of person that I wished I had had in my life. But what did that look like? As fortune would have it I found the description of Maximus in the Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. This became my rubric.

From Maximus I learned self-government, and not to be lead aside by anything, and cheerfulness in all circumstances, as well as in illness; and a just admixture in the moral character of sweetness and dignity, and to do what was set before me without complaining. I observed that everybody believed that he thought as he spoke, and that in all that he did he never had any bad intention, and he never showed amazement and surprise, and was never in a hurry, and never put off doing a thing, nor was perplexed, nor dejected, nor did he ever laugh to disguise his vexation, nor on the other hand was he ever passionate or suspicious. He was accustomed to do acts of beneficence, and was ready to forgive, and was free from all falsehood, and he presented the appearance of a man who could not be diverted from right rather than a man who had been improved. I observed, too, that no man could ever think that he was despised by Maximus, or even venture to think himself a better man. He also had the art of being humorous in an agreeable way.

I rewrote the description in my own words and imagined the words being used to describe myself. I would read this description and imagine myself embodying it every morning.

2. Meditation Changes The Brain: The year my son was born I read Destructive Emotions and began a consistent meditation practice. I started with a simple breathing meditation for 5 minutes a day. It was not long before I added visualization to my meditation practice.

After calming my mind with breathing meditation I imagined myself going about my day responding to events as my ideal self would. At first, this was only an additional minute of sitting. However, I began to feel its positive impact on my mood and my reactivity to events. So I started doing it multiple times throughout the day.

By the time I was in my 30s, I had set alarms to remind myself to repeat this process for 2–5 minutes 5 times a day.

3. Write It Out: I started journaling in high school but my journaling became much more intentional when I decided who I wanted to become. I would regularly re-write the description of who I wanted to become in my own words.

Each day I would reflect on how I had done that day, what went well, and what I would like to improve on the next time a certain situation occurred.

If I came across a quote or passages in books that seemed to support my journey I would write it in my journal along with a short reflection about why I felt it was important.

Every few weeks I would review what I had written. Going back over your own thoughts, what was important enough to write down, and what you continue to strive for is one of the best ways to cultivate wisdom and to ensure we do not forget to practice what we are learning.

The Results of Manifestation

When I found the description of Maximus I was still an angry person. While projecting an air of confidence I was internally insecure. I was distrustful of people in general and was constantly sizing people up to avoid being taken advantage of. Never one to back down from conflict I was a fault-finding person who loved to antagonize others into a verbal or sometimes even a physical confrontation. Friends would intentionally find people they knew I would dislike and then bring them around for me to verbally tear down with cutting remarks. They found it funny. My closest friends from this time described me as loyal, but “You were mean.” I was sure that I would never be married. Life would be lived for myself. But something inside knew this wouldn’t end well. I had seen a life lived completely for oneself and where that led.

Since the age of 19, I have lived in 7 cities and 5 countries. I have a wonderful marriage of 22 years to a woman I love with everything I am. We have raised two happy and healthy children who are now in university. Our family dynamic is filled with love, trust, and laughter.

I have friends who I consider family living all over the world. We are debt-free and not worried about money. I recently retired from my first career after 23 years in education, 12 spent as a school administrator. In my last 3 years as a Head of School, I received 360 feedback carried out by executive coaches that described me with words like approachable, wise, genuine, leader, compassionate, listener, disciplined, confident, calm, and positive.

Now I help high-performing clients cultivate these attributes in their own lives.

Take Ownership Of Your Process.

We manifest unconsciously each day, but the issue arises when we fail to take ownership of our thoughts. When we give in to negative self-talk and self-doubt, we inevitably change, but often into a bitter, resentful version of ourselves.

Change is a constant, and we should embrace it as a dynamic opportunity. By clarifying who we want to become and how we want to respond to life, we can guide our minds toward positive transformation.

Manifesting is about more than just wishing for material gains. It’s about shaping who you are and how you interact with the world. We can be better for ourselves and for the lives we touch.

So, are you ready to start manifesting the best version of yourself?